Welcome to our Questions & Answers page. Our
question submission form is on our
home page. We are eager to hear from you! As our
readers submit questions regarding behavior charts, parenting or tackling tricky
behaviors, we will have them available on our question pages for you to read. We can
all learn a thing or two from each other! Just click on the question topic
below to jump to that specific question! Remember that our response to you
will be limited if you don't share enough information. Note: We cannot
answer questions thoroughly or make up appropriate charts for you if we don't
have enough information about your situation.
We may email back a request for further information and if we don't receive an
answer, we will either opt out of answering your question or answer it the best
we can with the information provided. We will post most answered questions
on our website and may post some in our monthly newsletter. We may correct
grammar/spelling to make your question more readable on our website.
(Disclaimer: The
information on freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com is for
educational purposes only and should not be considered
to be medical advice. It is not meant to replace the
advice of a health care provider. All advice and information should be considered
to be incomplete without a visit to your health care
provider.)
Click on a topic
below to view specific questions and answers!
How can I get my 16 year old autistic son to poop
in the toilet?-Jennifer, Arkansas
Jennifer,
Thank you for your question and for visiting our website. Though we do have some
information on our website for parents of autistic children, we can't claim to
be experts in this area. You may need to see a specialist who can help problem
solve and support you through the toileting process with your son. You should
start with your family physician who can rule out any physical problems that
your son may be experiencing. In addition, your physician may have a good
recommendation for a specialist who can further work with you on this issue.
You
also need to consider any fears your son may have regarding the toilet or any
sensations in the bathroom or around the toilet that may disturb him. Is the toilet seat too cold or is there something about the bathroom
that alarms him or makes him uncomfortable? For instance, is there a dripping sink
that's annoying? As you are most familiar with your son, you are the best person
to assess this.
Much of your approach depends on your child's developmental age. You can take a
look at our article on
Nonretentive Encopresis and Toilet Training Refusal for some
ideas. You might try to schedule regular, planned toilet sits where he can earn
some type of incentive every time he poops on the toilet. Or, you can even let
him earn a reward for just sitting on the toilet and another for actually
pooping. Our behavior
bucks may be a nice option that allow him to save up for a larger
treat. Possibly, he can earn a $1 buck for sitting on the toilet and a $5 buck for
actually pooping. We also have some behavior charts here for
toileting and the older child. We would be happy to make up a chart for you if
you don't see anything appropriate.
Some people recommend using an hourglass timer in the bathroom while your child
is sitting on the toilet as kids with autism can be impatient and may enjoy
watching the sand in the hourglass while they sit. And you can also have
interesting reading material available to give him some incentive to use the
bathroom and stay on the toilet. Remember that positive reinforcement is a great
motivator. So, when your son does make an attempt to sit on the toilet or
actually poop, let him know you're proud. You can use one of our "Caught You Coupons"
as a tangible reinforcer. Hope some of these ideas are helpful and best of luck
with your son!
I have two kids that are going to be in glasses in one and half weeks, but they
are 3 and 5. I would like to get help on how I can keep them wearing all the
time -Missy, Kansas
Missy,
Your kids are at great ages to use behavior charts. We have 2 charts on our site
titled "I Wore My Glasses Today" and "I Kept My Glasses On Today". You can find
them on this page.
Our chart titled "I Kept My Glasses On Today" is broken down into the 3 time
periods of morning, afternoon, and evening. You can give each of the kids a
sticker for each time period they keep their glasses on. Because your children
are younger, the smaller time periods will help them succeed as younger kids
need incentives more frequently to keep their attention and focus on the task at
hand. If the kids are in school or daycare, hand the chart over to the caregiver
or teacher to fill out. Have the kids mark their own charts when they succeed
either by marking the space with a crayon or marker or giving them a sticker to
put on the space. You can also reinforce this behavior by giving them a Caught
You Coupon at the end of the day when they have worn their glasses all day! You
can find a Caught You Coupon titled "I Wore My Glasses" on this page.
My 8 year old son has been so defiant for several months. He refuses to do his
school work at school, refuses to do his homework, and behaves as if we are
being horrible to him for the slightest things ie. brushing his teeth and going
to bed. His whole mood changes and he cries for the slightest thing. Help!
-Laura, TX
Laura,
As you have noticed this behavior creep up only recently, you need to examine
any life changes that may be contributing factors. Kids will often act out their
emotions instead of verbalizing how they feel. This can take the form of
disruptive, angry, or sad behavior. If you can get to the underlying problem,
you can help your son adjust and cope with whatever situation is bothering him,
and his behavior should improve. Here are some examples of stressors for kids:
divorce, new school, remarriage and/or addition of new siblings, death in the
family, loss of pet, marital conflict, a move, etc. You need to take note of
what circumstances may have occurred in your family. Also, examine his school
situation and talk with his teachers. He may be experiencing some difficulties
socially/academically at school that are causing his behavior. Try to to set up
an appointment with the school counselor. If there is not a school counselor
available, you should seek the help of a professional family counselor who can
support you and your son through this difficult time. An objective counselor may
be able to better assess the cause of his behavior. Continue to provide lots of
love, support, and structure. It's fine to set up some type of behavior system
or chart for specific behaviors that you want him to improve, but until you find
out the cause of his distress, it will be difficult to help him change. Best of
luck!
Finding Behavior Charts
Where can you get behaviour charts that I can print out to keep control of my
behaviour and that I can also get rewards if I do keep my behaviour under
control -Charlie, England
Charlie,
You
can find free, printable behavior charts right here on our website. Notice the
column on the left hand side and you will see all of our charts listed under the
title "Behavior Charts". Click any of those links and you will be taken to a
page of free, printable charts!
My 8-year-old daughter cries over everything. She is getting picked on in school
because of this crying. What can I do? -Danielle, NJ
Danielle,
First and foremost, you may want to find a qualified family counselor who can
work with your daughter and give you some support through this difficult stage.
If this is new behavior for your daughter, then a counselor can help assess her
situation and pinpoint any stressors in her life. You may want to look at things
like divorce, remarriage, a move, death of a loved one, a new school, etc. as
possible causes of her behavior. Kids don't always verbalize their anxiety or
unhappiness and these feelings can materialize the in the form of constant
crying or other acting out.
If your daughter has always cried easily, then she may be an exceptionally
sensitive child and how you react to her behavior will be important. If you are
becoming stressed or unhappy when your daughter cries, you may be making matters
worse. The less calm you become, the less you are able to create a calm
environment for your daughter. So, remain patient, loving, and supportive during
her emotional behavior, and when she begins to calm down, try to determine what
triggered her crying response. You may find that your daughter is more emotional
when she is hungry, tired, or transitioning between one activity/place and
another. Become a detective and use your observations to help weed out her
triggers. You might say something like, "I notice that you become sad when it's
time for school," or "You seem to cry more at night. I wonder why?". This way,
you are gently trying to solve the puzzle instead of speaking in an accusatory
tone that may cause an emotional reaction in your daughter.
In addition, when your daughter is in a calm mood, talk with her about
alternatives to crying. We have added a new chart titled "How Do I Respond?" on
our Feeling Charts Page.
You can explore different scenarios and behaviors. Some alternatives to crying
might be asking for help, telling someone that she is sad, finding something
else to do, etc. You can also check out our chart titled, "Calm Down Strategies"
which is on our page of
Anger Management Charts. If you start
teaching your daughter optional behaviors to manage stressful situations, then
she will learn some coping mechanisms besides crying. Again, a counselor can be
a very helpful resource when working with your daughter on some of these issues.
With patience, love, and support, your daughter should be able to learn new ways
of behaving! Best of luck.
Hi there. Where I work we have a child that has Autism. He his a really sweet
boy. Lately he has been picking up objects and then throwing them nearly hitting
someone. He will even laugh when he has done it. We make him pick the object up
and say that we don't throw things. Have you got any advise that may help.
-Leanne, New Zealand
Leanne,
As communication can be difficult for children with autism, the act of throwing
toys may be this child's way of communicating with you. Throwing toys can also
be an act of sensory stimulation. In order to find out what is causing this
behavior, you need to examine events previous to the toy throwing episodes. What
is going on at the time? Was there any disturbing sensory stimulation such as
noise, heat, cold, touch? Was the child bored? Was there a transition happening
before or after the behavior? Did he want to interact with another child? Did he
want your attention? This detective work may take a while. You will need to
record several incidents before seeing a pattern emerge. Next, take a look at
the behavior of those around the child at the time of the toy throwing and after
the toy throwing. How did the adults and children react? Did the child gain
anything from the toy throwing? Did he achieve his goal or get the attention he
desired? Once you see some type of pattern, you can begin to address his
emotional state before the toy throwing occurs. For example, if you discover
that he begins to throw toys when you transition to a different activity, you
might better prepare him for the transition. Maybe you can use the same word or
a picture every time there is a transition. If you help the child prepare for
the transition, you can minimize his anxiety and thus the toy throwing will
stop. Or, if you see that he is stimulated from the reactions of the other
children, you can teach the children to ignore his toy throwing and set up some
type of activity that can provide positive stimulation for him when he is bored.
Try to involve the other kids if possible so he can interact with others in a
positive way. Best of luck!
Ok, we are trying to set some contracts for our 16 year old daughter. She thinks
because she has been good with her ipod and phone that I have no right to
interfere. We have had lots of trouble in the past. When I checked her ipod
today she had been on face time at 1:00 AM. What is the best way to handle
making changes? She has ODD and we have to be careful. She tells me that she is
not doing anything and that is an old contact. I don't believe her. Just need
some advice. Thanks
Jan,
First, you might want to check out our article "The
Oppositional Defiant Child: The War At Home". This article will
give you some great insights and tips on how to manage a child with ODD. As the
article mentions, you need to avoid arguments with your child and use very clear
and consistent rules and consequences. More than other children, a child with
ODD will argue until you're exhausted and continue to defend herself and make
excuses for her behavior. So again, don't get into verbal battles. You are on
the right track with setting up a behavior contract regarding her cell phone/ipod
use. Let her know exactly what you expect from her and the exact
consequences she will receive if she does not abide by the contract. Be
consistent and follow through with consequences. You can use one of our contracts
or use one as a guide to make up your own. Also, you might want to make an
addition to the contract that she needs to surrender her electronics every
evening at a certain time. You can hold her devices until morning. Don't forget
to reward her for good behavior, also. If she follows the contract, have a
reward set up. Involve her in the process, too. Kids are often great at thinking up consequences and
rewards for themselves. In fact, they are sometimes too hard on themselves! If
you need us to make up a contract or chart for you,
let us know. Good luck and
don't forget to maintain a patient, non-confrontive attitude with your daughter!
I have an extremely defiant (but sweet, aren't they all?) 3 year old. She
refuses to let me brush her hair/teeth, doesn't feel the need to clean up her
toys (even after I "throw them away"), sits and plays when I put her to bed
instead of sleeping, refuses to eat dinner (even when it's a favorite of hers),
and every time we go to the store she expects a treat/toy (I know, this is my
fault). How can I come up with some kind of schedule/behavior chart for her? I
don't mind buying her treats but I would much rather have a way to show her that
she will be rewarded for doing good things, not that she just gets them because
she's the queen...Brittany, Wisconsin
Brittany,
Don't forget that many kids become fiercely independent at the age of 3. Kids
discover that they are separate from their parents and enjoy their own voice at
this age. That's why many people call this age the "independent 3's". The fact
that she wants to make her own choices is very normal. At this age, it's
extremely important to pick your battles or you'll be battling with her over
everything. And you can't reason with a 3-year-old. If her behavior endangers
herself or someone else, you definitely need to address it. For example, if your
daughter hits another child, she gets an immediate time-out. But other
behaviors, such as playing in bed, need to be ignored. She'll fall asleep when
she is tired enough. When you battle with kids, they get a reward...even if it's
negative attention.
What works great at this age is making simple tasks into games and giving
immediate rewards. For example, when it comes to cleaning up her toys, make it
into a game. Play "basketball" and see who can toss the toys into the toy box
the best. Or, get a timer and 2 boxes. See who can put the most toys in her box
by the time the timer goes off. Even though this approach is time consuming,
it's fun for kids. You want her to feel positive about doing chores. If you
create a power struggle and negativity around doing chores at a young age, it
will carry through as she gets older.
You can use a behavior chart for brushing her hair. We have a page of Hygiene Charts.
One of the charts allows you to type in your own expectations. We also have a
chart titled "I
Brushed/Combed My Hair Today". Our
Step-by-Step charts with popular characters are also suitable and
really cute. You and your daughter can pick out some special chart stickers.
When you are able to brush her hair, let her pick out a sticker and put it on
her chart. That should be enough reward for a 3-year-old. Make a big deal and
give her positive feedback. If she doesn't, say something like, "Too bad you
don't get to pick out a new sticker today for your special chart. You don't want
me to brush your hair. Oh well, maybe next time!". She just may change her mind.
Don't battle or power
struggle...stay calm. Also, don't forget that the behavior of a 3-year-old is
influenced by whether she is hungry or tired. Try to keep this in mind when
dealing with your daughter. If she is tired, avoid shopping with her. Or, play
the "clean up game" the next day when she is not so tired or hungry.
Best of luck with your daughter. With some creative strategies and patience, you
should be able to get through this stage just fine!
