Welcome to our Questions & Answers page. Our
question submission form is on our
home page. We are eager to hear from you! As our
readers submit questions regarding behavior charts, parenting or tackling tricky
behaviors, we will have them available on our question pages for you to read. We can
all learn a thing or two from each other! Just click on the question topic
below to jump to that specific question! Remember that our response to you
will be limited if you don't share enough information. Note: We cannot
answer questions thoroughly or make up appropriate charts for you if we don't
have enough information about your situation.
We may email back a request for further information and if we don't receive an
answer, we will either opt out of answering your question or answer it the best
we can with the information provided. We will post most answered questions
on our website and may post some in our monthly newsletter. We may correct
grammar/spelling to make your question more readable on our website.
(Disclaimer: The
information on freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com is for
educational purposes only and should not be considered
to be medical advice. It is not meant to replace the
advice of a health care provider. All advice and information should be considered
to be incomplete without a visit to your health care
provider.)
Click on a topic
below to view specific questions and answers!
How does a child show respect to his elders? -John, England
John,
Respect starts with parental behavior. Parents need to demonstrate respect and
treat
children politely and respectfully if they expect their children to be
respectful in
turn. Also, parents need to role model respectful, polite behavior with others.
When children live in a respectful environment, they will learn how to be
respectful.
But, it's confusing for children if parents continue to act disrespectfully or
rude
toward others but expect respect from their children.
In addition, teach respect. If you hear your child speaking disrespectfully,
gently
remind him that disrespectful words are not o.k. Again, parents need to
demonstrate
this by using appropriate speech themselves. Help your child think of ways to
express
his feelings without using disrespectful words. Younger kids, especially, may
need lots
of practice with this one. For instance, if your child calls another child a
name in
anger, teacher your child how to use more appropriate words such as, "I don't
like when
you tease me" instead of "stop it, jerk".
And, don't forget to praise your child's respectful behavior. We all love
positive
feedback. Let your child know when you see his respectful behavior. You might
say, "I
like the way you held the door for grandma". Check out our 75 Ways to Say Good
Job! Kids will continue positive behavior just to receive the praise from their
parents.
I need some tips how to potty train my son who is 3 years old -Leslie, MD
Leslie,
We have a few great articles on our site which should give you some potty
training tips.
First, make sure that your son is ready to potty train. Check out our articles
Potty
Training Readiness and
When Should I Start Potty Training? If he
is ready to potty train, read
Creative Potty Training Ideas and Potty Training Boys.
Those 2 articles should give you some helpful hints. If you are interested in
using a potty training chart as an incentive, read Using Our
Potty Training Charts. We have a large selection of potty
training charts and if your son likes a specific character that we don't have,
we'd be
happy to make up a chart for him! If you still have some specific questions
after
reading the articles on our site, don't hesitate to
drop us a line!
My 5 year old comes to our bed every night from about midnight. Sometimes
then also pees in bed, despite me asking several times if he needs to pee. Both
of us cannot sleep well and are complete exhausted. He does not seem concerned
at all, even when punished or spoken to nicely. -Shelagh, Dubia
Shelagh,
Your question sounds very similar to another we had a while ago. Check out the
answer
we gave to this frustrated mom. We may reiterate some of those points here, too!
First, it would be helpful to know if this behavior has been going on for years
or if it
has just begun? If your son has always climbed into your bed, occasionally
urinating,
then it's habit. But, if this behavior is new, it may be triggered by a bigger
problem.
If this is new behavior, you need to analyze your son's routine. Has anything
changed
for him? Is school going well? Has he changed schools? Is there a new sibling in
the
family? How are his peer relations? Have you moved? Has there been a divorce?
Has
anyone close to him passed away? These are all important questions to consider
when
addressing his behavior.
Both coming into your bed and urinating can be signs of some distress or
insecurity. If
you think that there is a deeper issue at hand, you may need to find a family
support
specialist or family counselor who can meet with you and your son to help
address his
emotional issues. Remember, as your child is only five, he may not open up to
you
verbally if there is a problem. But, a trained counselor will have techniques
that will
work with a child his age. Don't assume there are no deeper issues at hand if he
does not verbally relate this to you. Addressing the deeper issues may help
resolve the
behaviors.
If you rule out any emotional difficulties and decide to tackle these behaviors,
take
one at a time. Initially, you probably want to get your son back in his own bed.
A behavior
chart might be an option here. We have one specifically designed for sleeping in
bed.
You can find it
here. Let your son put a sticker on the
chart the morning after he has
slept all night in his bed. Due to his age, you may want another reward to
reinforce this positive behavior. You can have a little "treat bag" filled with
items that he can
pick in the morning. As mentioned in our other question, you can also get him a
"sleeping buddy". Get a new stuffed animal for him that he can only use in his
own bed. The sleeping buddy can go through the nightly routine with you...brush
teeth, read a book, etc. But he needs to know that the sleeping buddy cannot
come into your bed.
It's important, also, to maintain a consistent bedtime routine. Set up some
activities
that you do every single night before bed. This page of our
site has some bedtime routine charts if you need some ideas.
Next, once you get your son sleeping in his own bed, you can work on bed
wetting. You may want to visit a doctor to rule out any physical problems
related to bladder control. We are linked with a helpful website that will
give you some
bedwetting strategies. Also check out our article on bedwetting
here. If you
have ruled out any physical problems that may cause bedwetting, you can try a
chart to motivate him to stay dry. Use it the same way. Reward him the next
morning if his bed stays dry. Check out some of our single behavior charts
used to target one behavior at a time. You can reward him for staying dry
through the night.
Most of all, try to stay patient. It's difficult to do when you are lacking
sleep, too!
But don't forget that this behavior will pass. These phases come and go and your
child will
get over it. This is temporary. If his behavior is due to some life stressors,
getting
angry at him will only make it worse. In addition, if he is behaving this way to
get
your attention, then he will feel successful even if you get angry at him. To
children,
any type of attention is desirable, even negative attention! Try your best to
stay
patient and supportive. Let him know you love him. And don't forget to give lots
of
encouragement and positive reinforcement when he is doing a good job. Catch him
being
good. Even if he is in your bed but stayed dry, notice that and give him
positive
feedback. Or, if he sleeps in his own bed but wets...focus on the positive
behavior
which is staying in his bed.
Best of luck and let us know if we can help in any other way. We are also happy
to make
up charts with his favorite character if that will help!!
I have two girls preteen and want a very
specific consequence chart for behaviors like being late to school, talking
back, not doing all of their home work, bossy combative behavior -Laurie, WI
Laurie,
We have made up a more specific behavior chart for you. You can find it on
this page
labeled preteen/teen specific behaviors.
As you did not submit your email address, we cannot contact you to ask you for
more information. If you need any changes to the chart, please drop us an email
and let us know.
My 8 year old son has a lot of energy and seems
to have a hard time doing one activity at a time. He's not doing too well at
school either. Does he have ADHD? -Jenny, TN
Jenny,
Remember that you're talking about an 8 year old boy! It's very normal for a
child his age to have a lot of energy. After a long day at school, he may just
need to unwind at home after sitting much of the day. And that may take the form
of some very energetic behavior!
Also, you were not specific enough in mentioning his school difficulties. There
can be all sorts of reasons why a child does poorly in school. You shouldn't
jump to the conclusion that it's related to ADHD. If you truly have concerns
about ADHD, you need to meet with your child's teacher and the school counselor.
The school counselor should know the symptoms of ADHD and will be a great
resource if you have any questions. They may suggest that your son be evaluated
by a professional such as the school psychologist. Aside from your concerns
about ADHD, a meeting with his teacher should be in order if he is not doing
well in school.
It's important to be very sure of an ADHD diagnosis before assuming that your
son has this condition. Until he is officially diagnosed, consider him a very
active child. You may need to provide some outlets for his energy. Is he
interested in organized sports or gymnastics? Do you have a YMCA close by where
he can use an open gym? If he goes to daycare, do they provide enough
stimulation and opportunities for physical activity?
Get in touch soon with your school personnel and best of luck with your son!
How do you get a 6 year old motivated to get
out of bed and dressed for school in the morning? She is so slow and has to be
pestered constantly to get organized!
Justine, South Africa
Justine,
First, you need to ask yourself if your daughter is getting enough sleep. It is
less common for children in her age range to have difficulty getting out of bed.
Usually, parents find the opposite true...they can't keep their kids in bed long
enough! A child between the ages of five and twelve should have 10-11 hours of
sleep per day. Next, how is school going for your daughter? Is there any reason
why she would not want to go to school? How are her peer relations at school?
You may want to investigate these questions to rule out any reasons why your
daughter may not want to go to school. If there is a school related issue that
is disrupting her behavior, you may want to check in with a school or family
counselor.
If everything is going well at school and your daughter just isn't a morning
person, here are a few tips. First, the night before school, get as much ready
as possible. This will make your job easier. You can incorporate this into your
child's nighttime routine. Get her backpack ready and any papers signed that
need to go back to school. Then, help her pick out her clothes for the next day
and lay them out. Or, if she wears a uniform, place her uniform in a convenient
spot that she can access. Try to follow the same routine every night,
incorporating some rituals such as reading a book, taking a bath, etc. We have
some Bedtime
Routine Charts that you may use as a guide here. Again, make sure
that your daughter has enough sleep every night. Try to keep that bedtime as
consistent as possible.
Next, you might want to set up a behavior chart to motivate her in the morning.
We have some simple charts on our
Single Behavior Charts page that you can
use to target one behavior such as get ready for school in the morning. You can
explain to your daughter that this includes getting out of bed promptly. Or, you
can break down the morning into a few behaviors such as get out of bed, get
clothes on, etc. Check out our
Morning Routine Charts for some ideas of
morning expectations. You can handle her rewards or incentives based on what
works for you. You can give her a reward from a treat bag immediately in the
morning. Or, put something special in her lunch like a piece of candy, etc. If
that is disruptive to the morning routine, you can save her treat for after
school. Maybe you can do something special with her such as play a game or give
her extra computer/tv time. You could also have a weekly treat if the week goes
well. Maybe she can have a friend over or do a special activity with a family
member.
Most important is consistency. Keep her nighttime routine and morning routine as
consistent as possible. Even during the weekend, have some type of weekend
routine for her. For instance, have her get up, get dressed, eat breakfast,
brush teeth. Keeping her on a bit of a schedule will help the transition to the
school week again. And don't forget to give her lots of positive reinforcement
when she does a good job. Catch her being good!
Best of luck and let us know if you need a special chart made up that would
better fit your situation!
