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Articles of Interest
Behavior Management
Using Behavior Charts
Reward Ideas
Consequences For Young Kids & Toddlers
Regain Parental Control
Dealing With Defiant Young Kids and Toddlers
Using Natural Consequences
Summer Break Strategies
Create Accountability During Summer Break
Gaining Respect From Kids
Parenting Angry Teens
When Good Kids Misbehave
When Kids Only Act Out At Home
When No Means No
Start Parenting More Effectively
When Kids Ignore Consequences
When Your Kids Ingnore You
Giving Effective Time-Outs
Dealing With Power Struggles Part 1
Avoiding Power Struggles Part 2
Setting Limits With Difficult Kids
How To Stop A Fight
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Manipulative Behavior
Keep Your Summer Break Peaceful
Summer Survival For Parents
Disciplining Your Two Year Old
How To Stop Kids From Cursing
Inappropriate Soiling
Consequences For Teens
The Truth About Bullies
Stopping A Temper Tantrum

Potty Training

School

Classroom Management

Classroom Management Strategies

First Year Survival

Stop Bullying In Your Classroom

Controlling The Uncontrollable Class

Child Development

Birth to Age Five

Six to Eleven

Preteens & Teens

Importance Of Play In Child Development

Chores

Sleep

ADHD/ADD

Tips For Parenting ADHD and  Spirited Kids

Unlocking The Secrets To Good Behavior

Summer Planning For A Child With ADHD

Stress Management

Stress Management Tips

Stress-Guarding Your Family

Managing Holiday Stress

Preventing Parental Burnout

How To Be A Calm Parent

Alternative Families

General Parenting/Family 

Top 5 Parenting Mistakes
Parenting The Child You Have
Gaining Respect From Kids
Perfect Parents Dont Exist
How To Interview A Nanny
When Good Parents Have Difficult Children
Parenting Gifted Children
New Year's Resolutions For Parents
Deciding Appropriate Parenting Rules
Is Your Child A Know-it-all?
Successful Goal Setting
Walking Away From A Fight With Your Child
Creating Accountability In Your Home
Good Cop Bad Cop Parenting
Help Transition Your Kids Through Divorce
Parenting Picky Eaters
When Toddlers Are Picky Eaters
Help Kids Cope With Pet Loss
Great Book Series For Kids
What You Shouldn't Say To Your Kids

Keep Cool When Kids Push Your Buttons

Parenting Your Teen
Helping Kids Adjust To The New Baby
Summer Structure For Kids
Teaching Kids How To Save Money
Selecting The Right Pet
75 Ways To Say Good Job
Getting Kids To Love Reading

Why Boredom Is Good For Kids
Getting Along With Your Preteen
Bedwetting Solutions
Summer Job Ideas For Teens
Halloween Safety Tips
Halloween Party Snack Ideas
Autism/Sensory Disorders/Anxiety
Tips To Tackle Tricky Behaviors
 

 

   

 

Questions & Answers!

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Welcome to our Questions & Answers page. Our question submission form is on our home page.   We are eager to hear from you! As our readers submit questions regarding behavior charts, parenting or tackling tricky behaviors, we will have them available on our question pages for you to read. We can all learn a thing or two from each other!  Just click on the question topic below to jump to that specific question!  Remember that our response to you will be limited if you don't share enough information.  Note: We cannot answer questions thoroughly or make up appropriate charts for you if we don't have enough information about your situation.  We may email back a request for further information and if we don't receive an answer, we will either opt out of answering your question or answer it the best we can with the information provided.  We will post most answered questions on our website and may post some in our monthly newsletter. We may correct grammar/spelling to make your question more readable on our website. 

(Disclaimer: The information on freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com is for educational purposes only and should not be considered to be medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of a health care provider. All advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a visit to your health care provider.)

Click on a topic below to view specific questions and answers!


Discipline/Behavior Management

Disciplining A 12 Year Old

Helping A Child Who Enjoys Being A Trouble Maker

Changing The Discipline Routine For A Caregiver

Out of Control Children

Out of Control Children-2

Eight-Year-Old With Defiant Behavior

How To Gain Respect From Children

Child Always Responding With "No"

Teenage Babysitter Handling Discipline

Eight-Year-Old Who Is Aggressive, Swearing, And Lying

Disrespectful And Rude Teenager

Teen With ODD/ADHD Selling Cigarettes

Kids In Blended Family Fighting

Length Of Time-Out For A 6-8 Year Old Child

 

Discipline/Behavior Management Ages 2-5

Four-Year-Old Aggressive Behavior

Four-Year-Old Speaking In Whiny Voice

Four-Year-Old Not Listening

Two-Year-Old Will Not Go To Sleep

When To Give A Reward To A Four-Year-Old

Five-Year-Old With Aggressive Behavior

Five-Year-Old Very Upset About Going To School

Two-Year-Old Aggressive Behavior

Rebellious Two-Year-Old And Three-Year-Old

Distractible Five-Year-Old

Four Young Female Siblings Fighting

Defiant 3-Year-OLd

Getting A 3-Year-Old To Eat Fruit

Four-Year-Old Acting Out

 

Sleep

Getting A Child To Sleep In Her Own Bed

Making A Bedtime Routine For A Teen With Autism

Two-Year-Old Will Not Go To Sleep

ive-Year-Old coming into bed with parents/bedwetting

Three-year-old Changing Out Of Pajamas After Going To Bed

 

Potty Training

Potty Training Regression

Four Year Old Wetting Pants

Potty Training Tips

Five-Year-Old coming into bed with parents/bedwetting

Child With Inappropriate Soiling Issues

Potty Training Difficulties With A Two-Year-Old

Five-Year-Old Holding Poop And Not Using Toilet

 

ADHD/ADD

Discipline For A Young Child With ADD

Helping A Child With ADHD Complete Assignments

Managing The Behavior Of A Child with ADHD

Parenting A Child With ADHD And Three Siblings

Concerns About ADHD

Autism/Special Needs

Making A Bedtime Routine For A Teen With Autism

Five-year-old with Down's Syndrome Who Spits In The Classroom

Toileting And A Teen With Autism

Boy With Autism Throwing Toys

 

School

Helping A Child With ADHD Complete Assignments

Daughter Has Difficulty Remembering School Material

Four-Year-Old Does Work At Home But Not At School

Difficulty Transitioning To Preschool

Angry 14-year-old Failing In School

Nine-Year-Old Acting Out In School

 

Listening

Four-Year-Old Not Listening

Eight-Year-Old Son Not Listening

Daughter Doesn't Listen

Five-Year-Old Not Listening

Seven-Year-Old Not Listening

 

Behavior Charts

When Behavior Charts Don't Work

When Do I Stop Using The Behavior Chart

Filled-In Chore Chart

A Chart For Modifying Chocolate Addiction

Specific Behavior Chart for a Preteen

How Much Are Your Charts?

Making A Cell Phone/Ipod Contract For A Teen

 

Miscellaneous

Careless Behavior In Child

How To Stop Whining

Motivating a Six-Year-Old In The Morning

Separation Anxiety In A Seven-Month-Old

Appropriateness Of Relationship Between 11-year-old

And 15-year-old

Young Kids Talking Negatively

Daycare For A Child Going Through Divorce

Six-Year-Old Adjusting To A Divorce

Five-year-old Having Difficulty Adjusting To New Baby

Five Year Old With Sensitivities To Textures And Tastes

Eight Year Old Perfectionist

Talking With A 12-year-old Girl About Boys

A Child's Inaccurate Perception Of Friendships

11-Year-Old With Anger Management Issues

How To Get A Child To Brush Teeth

Helping Young Kids Keep Glasses On

Eight-Year-Old Who Cries Frequently

7-Year-Old Lacks Focus And Daydreams

Parenting A Transgender Teen

Grandparent Raising Grandchildren

 


Child with inappropriate soiling issues

 

I have a 7 (8 in August) year old stepson. Between the both of us we have 7 kids; ranging from 20 down to the youngest which are both 7 . My stepson is a PS fanatic. When their allowed time to play is over, or if he is outside or just doing any activity; he has a bowel movement in his pants. We have taken toys and privileges away. We get him every other weekend and once a week and then have a regular summer visitation of 45 days. It seems like he has more of "these accidents" if we have not been able to get them for a week or 2 due to schedules of either parent. We have asked why he does it and he says because he does not want to stop playing. Several times, he has been within feet of the bathroom! What else can we do? Please help? -Stacey, USA
 

We have a great article on nonretentive encopresis or when a child refuses to have a bowel movement in the toilet. You can find the article on this page. First, you need to take your stepson to a family physician so any physical problems can be ruled out. Also, a good physician will have some further treatment recommendations, and if the problem is behavioral, may have some counseling recommendations.

If the problem is ruled to be purely behavioral, you may want to seek the help and support of a qualified specialist such as a family therapist who can guide you through the behavioral intervention with your son. You also need to have open communication with his mother to compare notes and see if this behavior is happening at his other home, too. All of you will need to be on the same page when using a behavior plan.

At home, you can take some steps to help your son become comfortable using the toilet all the time. First, make sure that his stool is soft and well formed. You want to rule out any issues with constipation. Painful bowel movements due to constipation can discourage a child from using the toilet in a traditional way. And if he needs a bit of help with stool softening, you can change his diet to include increased fiber and water to ensure soft stools. Next, schedule daily toilet sits. Try to find a time when he may be most likely to have a bowel movement. It helps if you keep a daily toilet diary. Jot down the time of day that he usually has a bowel movement even if it's outside of the toilet. Have him sit on the toilet every day at this time. Make the experience positive. You may want to have some relaxing music playing in the bathroom and have some fun reading material available for him while he sits on the toilet.

You can also set up a behavior chart for the daily sits. He can earn a sticker for participating in the toilet sitting and another if he actually poops on the toilet. Have an incentive that he can earn if he gets a certain number of stickers. You can also set up a behavior chart for pooping on the toilet at times other than his daily sit time. Again, he can earn a sticker if he poops in the toilet and that sticker can also go toward his incentive. Check out our behavior charts designed for nonretentive encoprsis here.

Also, avoid getting into power struggles with your son over the toilet. Having bowel movements outside the toilet may be his way of gaining some attention or control in your family. Just treat the inappropriate pooping in a calm way, have him clean up, and say something like, "It's too bad that you didn't earn a sticker on your chart for using the toilet," and leave it at that. If you lecture him and get upset, then he'll know he's pushing your buttons and that may be his goal.

Again, a visit to a qualified family counselor may be appropriate for your family. Kids act out in many different ways when they are trying to adjust to new living situations. Living between two homes is difficult on top of having to share your parent with other children. A family therapist can be helpful in sorting out some of the intense emotions kids and family members feel in this situation.

Best of luck with your situation.


 


Rebellious 2-year-old and 3-year-old

 

I am a working mom whom recently just stop being a full time mother and returned to work. Both my kids 2 yrs and 3 yrs old are at the age of building their character. As I am not able to be around all the time to coach them and discipline them. They started to become very rebellious and not following proper habits in life. They are taken care by my Mother in law and maid which I am not able to reply on disciplining my kids. I feel that I still have to be the person to mould them as they listen to me more than their father. Is there any ways to equip me in this area. I am going to do up a behavior chart for my daughter and hope this helps her in her daily routine when I am not around. Thanks -Agnes, Malaysia

 

For children this age, it's very normal to see some acting out as they are becoming more independent and aware of their ability to make their own choices. You might want to look at a few articles on our website: Effective Discipline For Two-Year-Olds, Giving Consequences To Young Kids And Toddlers, and Using Effective Time-Outs. All the articles have some great information and parenting tips for young children. The best type of discipline for kids this age is immediate and consistent. Avoid talking too much or trying to explain why their behavior is not acceptable. They are too young to understand. Time-outs and behavior charts work very well with this age group. Time-outs are great tools for unsafe or aggressive behavior such as hitting, biting, or running away. A time-out gives the child time to cool down until he is ready to join the group again. When your child is behaving in an unsafe way, you can give him one warning and say something like, "You need to stop hitting. If you hit again, you will need to take a time-out". And, if the child hits again put him in time-out and say, "You chose to hit again. Now you need to take a time-out". Then, don't talk about it anymore as a child at this young age will not be able to understand long explanations. Once time-out is over, the child can join the group and that's that! Again, check out the article mentioned above on time-outs. It's got some great suggestions on how to give a time-out.

In addition, avoid getting into power struggles with the kids. If you find yourself getting angry, yelling, or chasing them around then you are losing the battle. Kids this age will continue to misbehave if they feel that their behavior is rewarding them in some way. Even negative attention from you is attention. And considering that you have recently gone back to work, the kids may be craving some attention, even negative attention. So make sure that you avoid battling with them, and also set aside some special time to spend with each child. They may be having a difficult time adjusting to new caregivers. Make a point to spend some one-on-one time with each child doing activities like reading, going for walks, or playing a game. You may begin to notice their behavior calming down after they have adjusted to their new circumstances. Also, remember to catch them being good. When you see behavior that you like, let them know. Tell them that they are doing a great job!

Behavior charts can also be effective with kids this age, though the reward needs to be immediate since they are so young. Also, you should only work on one behavior at a time so the kids don't become overwhelmed. You may be able to try two behaviors at a time but no more. And when you see behavior that you like, the child should receive an immediate reward such as a new sticker on her chart and/or a treat from a treat bag. The key is that the child receives the reward immediately. Also, because the kids are so young, you need to focus on very specific behaviors. For instance, instead of using the behavior "listen to grandma" you may want to say "pick up toys when grandma tells you to". "Listen to grandma" is too general and may be confusing to a young child. When the child picks up the toy, make a big deal, tell her that she did a great job, and mark her behavior chart with a sticker. At this point, you can also give her a treat if you wish but in many cases, the sticker is treat enough! You can also make up a daily routine chart which is more of a checklist than a behavior chart. We have some daily routine charts here. This may be a helpful guide for both your children and their caregivers.

It's important that the other caregivers follow through with the same consequences and rewards that you use. You need to have a meeting with both and explain what rewards and consequences that you would like them to use such as the time-outs and behavior charts. Explain the importance of giving positive feedback to the kids, and make sure that everybody can be as consistent as possible. This way, your kids will not try to manipulate the caregivers by misbehaving when you are gone.

With consistency and patience, you will be able to get a handle on some of those tricky behaviors! And remember, if you need any new charts or changes to any existing charts, just let us know!

 


Eight-year-old who is aggressive, swearing, and lying

 

I have an 8 year old son who is very aggressive towards his brothers, he lies, does not listen at all to me or anyone of my family members. He swears alot he is angry alot I feel like I have completely failed as a mother!!!! Plz help -Charmaine, Canada

 

Charmaine,

As you are having difficulties with just one child, you may want to examine any significant life changes that he may have experienced. For instance, has there been a divorce, move, change of schools, death in the family, new marriage, or new siblings? Kids all react differently to changes in their lives, and your son may be acting out some anger and frustration as a result of a significant event in his life. If you can identify any causes of his behavior, then you can address those to help get him back on track. In addition, has he always exhibited difficult behavior or is this something new? If this is new behavior, then there are definitely some factors in his life contributing to his acting out. To help you weed through all of this, you may want to seek the help of a family counselor. A professional can help give support and guidance to your family as well as helping pinpoint the causes of some of this behavior.

You can address some of the specific behaviors through consequences and behavior charts. Time-outs are great tools for aggressive behavior...they are not just for toddlers! When your son displays aggressive behavior, let him know that he needs to stop the behavior or take a time-out to cool down. We have a great article about time-outs here. Have your son take a time-out at a specified spot, and when he is cooled down and ready to stop acting aggressively, he can join the family. After his time-out, quickly review why he went to time-out and reinforce that the behavior is not acceptable. Don't lecture or go on and on about the situation. Make it short and sweet!

Specific behaviors such as lying and swearing can be addressed through behavior charts. We also have some great articles about lying and swearing that you may want to check out. Have your son pick out one of our printable behavior charts...we have lots of great themes. Then, you and your son decide on a reward if he completes his chart. If he is having difficulties with swearing and lying every day, you may want to set up a daily reward. For instance, he can earn extra computer/tv time for the next day or he can pick a reward out of a treat bag. We have some reward ideas here. Or, he can earn a reward if he gets 4 or 5 good days/stickers for the week. You don't want to set him up for failure in the beginning, so don't expect a perfect week to start. And, if the chart is not enough motivation in itself, you can eventually set up some consequences in addition to the chart. If he lies, for example, he doesn't mark his chart and he also looses some computer/tv time.

Most important, do not get into power struggles with your son. He may be trying to get some attention through negative behavior. For children, negative attention can be better than no attention at all. When he misbehaves, again make it short and sweet. Let him know his consequence and leave it at that. Say something like, "Well, you didn't earn a sticker today because you lied. Maybe tomorrow." Don't fight, argue, or get loud with him. This will only exacerbate his behavior and make you more angry. Take a time-out yourself if you need a chance to cool down before speaking with him.

 

Also, try to catch him being good as much as you can. When parents are continuously dealing with negative behavior, they sometimes stop noticing positive behavior. Pretty soon, they are only catching their children behaving badly instead of catching them behaving positively. No matter how small, try to see his positive behavior. Maybe your son picked up a gum wrapper and put it in the garbage. Thank him and let him know you appreciate his efforts to keep things clean. Or, say something like, "I've noticed that you are getting along with your brothers pretty well. Thanks!". We have some "Caught You Coupons" for this purpose. Hand him a coupon when he is doing a good job. Sometimes all a child needs is positive reinforcement. That can be a reward in itself, and children will often change their behavior simply for the reward of positive words from their family members. And if the situation does not improve or gets worse, you definitely want to check in with a family counselor. All parents go through rocky periods with their children. Parenting is tough and sometimes a counselor can help parents discover how they may be contributing to the behavior. Counselors also have some great techniques when working with difficult children.

Best of luck and let us know if we can make up any charts for you!

 


 

Distractible five-year-old

 

My daughter, 5 years, actually is a good child. She can follow school and get social life well.  She can learn and read faster than her peers. But how do I get her to do things faster....in all of her activities... eating, brushing teeth, using socks and shoes, etc. She is less focused, often changes direction if she sees, looks or hears something around her. She less motivated herself, too. Thanks -Christina, Indonesia

 

Christina,

Your daughter sounds like a healthy, bright girl. It's very normal for kids as young as 5 years old to have difficulty maintaining their attention spans. If you feel that her distractibility is becoming a problem, you can do a few things to help guide her. First, stay calm and supportive. Do not lose your temper or yell at her. If you stay calm, your daughter will be more able to also stay calm and focus on the task at hand. If you lose your temper with her, she may become upset or flustered and have a more difficult time staying focused. Gently guide her and prompt her to finish what she starts while stating your expectations clearly.

 

Next, make sure that the task is not too difficult for her. Some children seem distracted with difficult tasks as it's easier to give up and focus on something else than to stick with the task. Make sure that your expectations for her are realistic and manageable for a child her age. If a task is too large, break it down into smaller parts that are easier to accomplish. Be aware of your daughter's energy level, too. If she is tired, she may have a more difficult time staying focused. As mentioned, be patient with her.

 

Also, you may want to try using behavior charts or checklists to help keep your daughter on track. We have some daily routine charts on this page. Or, you can use one of our behavior charts and fill in the desired tasks and check them off as she completes them. This way, she will feel a sense of accomplishment every time she finishes a task. You can have her pick out some special stickers or markers to mark her chart. Every time she accomplishes a task such as brushing her teeth or putting on socks and shoes, she will get a new sticker to put on her chart. Kids at this age need immediate rewards so remember to reward her right after she accomplishes the task...not later in the day! Let us know, also, if we can make up a special chart for you to suit your daughter.

 

And don't forget to give her positive feedback any chance you get. Let her know that she is doing a great job and remind her of other times when she has successfully accomplished similar tasks in a timely manner. You might even want to look at our "Caught You Coupons". These are coupons that you can print off and hand out when you feel your daughter is doing a great job. You can find them here. Hope that these hints help and remember that your daughter is right on target for a five-year-old. With your support and understanding, she'll learn to better focus herself and will most likely grow out of this behavior.


Five-year-old with Down's Syndrome who spits in the classroom

 

Ideas for eliminating spitting in the class-room. Still to work out the reason. Down Syndrome boy aged 5 years 11 months. Have looked at tiredness, wanting to avoid activities, sensory (possible). Gathering data (again). -Jen, New Zealand

 

Jen,

As you know, many children with Down Syndrome have better receptive language skills than expressive. As a result, they may feel incredibly frustrated when they cannot verbalize information, and they may act out their frustration.  It may be helpful to have some visual cues to help him respond to you. Possibly, have some pictures representing common responses and situations that he can point to when trying to communicate. For example, have pictures representing "I'm bored", "I understand", "I'm angry", "I need to use the bathroom", etc. It depends on his particular level of communication. We have some feeling charts here which may help when trying to figure out how he is feeling each day.

 

A behavior chart may be a fun way to help him control his spitting.  We have added two "I Didn't Spit" charts to our website. You can find one geared toward the classroom (on this page) and it's divided into "before lunch" and "after lunch". Our other chart (on this page) is a more general chart that can be used in the class or at home. We would be happy to break the chart down into smaller time periods if that helps. When he has gone through a day/half a day without spitting, let him mark his chart and give him a reward. He would need an immediate reward for the chart to be effective.

Also, You may want to find out if spitting is an issue at home. If it's only happening at school, then you can narrow down the situations that bring about the spitting behavior. You may be doing this already, but it would also be a good idea to keep some notes/written observations and try to detect some type of pattern to his spitting. You can record things like what time of day he spits, where is he when he spits, who he is with when he spits, etc.  It will be a bit of detective work but questions like these will help narrow down the reasons why he may be spitting.

Basically, it sounds like you are going in the right direction with helping him to eliminate this behavior. The best thing you can do is to continue investigating reasons why he is spitting. Using a feeling chart or some other form of visuals can help in the process. Then, you can try to modify his environment so he doesn't experience the triggers which cause the spitting. As mentioned, a behavior charts may also be effective in helping him control his behavior.

Best of luck and let us know if we can help in any other way.

 

 

 

 

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